The Football Fan Spot

Imagine if real NFL drafters competed in a fantasy draft. Now imagine if some of the more colorful NFL drafters competed in a fantasy draft. Now were talking.

Brad Childress- RB Chester Taylor

You’re probably expecting me to take Adrian Peterson here, but I have it from a good source that Peterson won’t be getting the goal line carries, instead it will be Chester Taylor because Minnesota’s coach is an idiot…oh wait that’s me.

Josh McDaniels- QB Matt Cassel

I love Matt Cassel! I’d trade any quarterback for him even if it went destroying my franchise! I love his ability to complete 5 yard passes and how he is as immobile as a tree in the pocket! Matt Cassel!!!

Jerry Jones- A flat screen TV

You’re probably expecting me to take a player here, but a football team is not all about the players and the same goes for fantasy football. Giant TVs make the fans come to games and fans make teams money. And if punters hit the TV with the ball, even better.

Al Davis- WR Darrius Heyward Bey

Darrius Heyward Bey is the greatest player who ever lived!!! With him, my team will lead the league in dropped passes and 40 times. On a side note, thanks for allowing this draft to be conducted by nightfall, sunlight and me don’t get along so well ever since my…incident.

Mike Singletary- Forfeit

I’ll tell you who I’m not picking, Vernon Davis. Vernon Davis sucks. Vernon Davis is awful. Can not play with him, can not win with him, can not coach with him, can’t do it! He makes me want to rip off my pants and yell at my teams. Vernon Davis is awful!!! I’d rather play with 10 guys on the field than play with Vernon Davis!!! (Singletary runs out of time and forfeits pick)

Eric Mangini- K Phil Dawson

I don’t believe that quarterbacks win games. I don’t believe that wide receivers win games. I certainly don’t believe pass rushers win games. I believe talented centers win games. I believe mediocre middle linebackers win games. I believe subpar defensive ends win games. I believe borderline starter free safeties win games. Unfortunately, I can’t draft any of those in this fantasy draft, so I’ll go with my 5th favorite thing in the world, kickers.

Bill Belicheck- RB Adrian Peterson

(Belicheck will draft the best available player here and take Peterson. I had to put one sane drafter in here…so what if he’s been spending the whole draft reading everyone’s draft boards)

Matt Millen’s ghost- WR Larry Fitzgerald

I may no longer have my job as President of the Lions, but I am still ruining the franchise through my former assistant. Now I must draft the best thing ever, a wide receiver.

Ted Thompson- RB Matt Forte

I normally just take the best player available in real drafts, so why wouldn’t I do that here. (side note: while this isn’t the best strategy in real drafts, in fantasy drafts, it is the best strategy and Forte is the 2nd best player available this year).

Jon Gruden- QB Brett Favre

Brett Favre is the best quarterback ever. I don’t care if he’s 40 years old and has a huge ego. I think he’s the best quarterback ever. Quarterbacks only get better with age, look at Brad Johnson, Rich Gannon, and Jeff Garcia…well maybe not Jeff Garcia.