NFL Mock Drafts, Fantasy Football, NFL Picks, NFL Power Rankings, and more

Imagine if real NFL drafters competed in a fantasy draft. Now imagine if some of the more colorful NFL drafters competed in a fantasy draft. Now were talking.

Brad Childress- RB Chester Taylor

You’re probably expecting me to take Adrian Peterson here, but I have it from a good source that Peterson won’t be getting the goal line carries, instead it will be Chester Taylor because Minnesota’s coach is an idiot…oh wait that’s me.

Josh McDaniels- QB Matt Cassel

I love Matt Cassel! I’d trade any quarterback for him even if it went destroying my franchise! I love his ability to complete 5 yard passes and how he is as immobile as a tree in the pocket! Matt Cassel!!!

Jerry Jones- A flat screen TV

You’re probably expecting me to take a player here, but a football team is not all about the players and the same goes for fantasy football. Giant TVs make the fans come to games and fans make teams money. And if punters hit the TV with the ball, even better.

Al Davis- WR Darrius Heyward Bey

Darrius Heyward Bey is the greatest player who ever lived!!! With him, my team will lead the league in dropped passes and 40 times. On a side note, thanks for allowing this draft to be conducted by nightfall, sunlight and me don’t get along so well ever since my…incident.

Mike Singletary- Forfeit

I’ll tell you who I’m not picking, Vernon Davis. Vernon Davis sucks. Vernon Davis is awful. Can not play with him, can not win with him, can not coach with him, can’t do it! He makes me want to rip off my pants and yell at my teams. Vernon Davis is awful!!! I’d rather play with 10 guys on the field than play with Vernon Davis!!! (Singletary runs out of time and forfeits pick)

Eric Mangini- K Phil Dawson

I don’t believe that quarterbacks win games. I don’t believe that wide receivers win games. I certainly don’t believe pass rushers win games. I believe talented centers win games. I believe mediocre middle linebackers win games. I believe subpar defensive ends win games. I believe borderline starter free safeties win games. Unfortunately, I can’t draft any of those in this fantasy draft, so I’ll go with my 5th favorite thing in the world, kickers.

Bill Belicheck- RB Adrian Peterson

(Belicheck will draft the best available player here and take Peterson. I had to put one sane drafter in here…so what if he’s been spending the whole draft reading everyone’s draft boards)

Matt Millen’s ghost- WR Larry Fitzgerald

I may no longer have my job as President of the Lions, but I am still ruining the franchise through my former assistant. Now I must draft the best thing ever, a wide receiver.

Ted Thompson- RB Matt Forte

I normally just take the best player available in real drafts, so why wouldn’t I do that here. (side note: while this isn’t the best strategy in real drafts, in fantasy drafts, it is the best strategy and Forte is the 2nd best player available this year).

Jon Gruden- QB Brett Favre

Brett Favre is the best quarterback ever. I don’t care if he’s 40 years old and has a huge ego. I think he’s the best quarterback ever. Quarterbacks only get better with age, look at Brad Johnson, Rich Gannon, and Jeff Garcia…well maybe not Jeff Garcia.

            If you’ve read any of my NFL draft stuff, you would know that I don’t really like Al Davis’ drafting strategy. I believe that he drafts based on combine measurables rather than skills. Apparently, Michael Crabtree agrees with me. Crabtree is holding out because he wants more money than the 23.5 million guaranteed the Raiders gave Darrius Heyward Bey, who the Raiders drafted over Crabtree with the 7th pick despite the fact that most mock draft sites, including mine, had Crabtree rated way higher. Crabtree believes that Al Davis made a mistake and that he should get more money based on mock drafts.

However, whether or not the Raiders made the right pick, Crabtree was not that pick. He was drafted 10th overall by the Raiders cross the bay rivals the San Francisco 49ers and he doesn’t deserve to get paid any more than that. He wants to be paid based on mock drafts, fantasy, rather than reality, where he was the 10th pick in the 2009 NFL Draft. This is just another example of the NFL’s need for some sort of regulation on rookie salaries. Too many times do we see rookies holding out feeling that they deserve more than they do and missing good chunks of their rookie season as a result. Whether this regulation is done by draft order or by order within a player’s respective position, or, my favorite, a combination of the two. Crabtree was the 10th player drafted and the 2nd wide receiver and deserves to be paid like one, no matter how incapable Al Davis is at drafting.

As for Michael Crabtree, what he’s doing is stupid. He’s threatening to hold out the entire season, based on fantasy, and reentering the draft in 2010. In terms of talent, Crabtree would be the best wide receiver in the 2010 NFL draft class. However, teams know how much money he wants and might be reluctant to draft him because of that. They also might see him as a bit of a head case who values money over his team. Also, history shows that players who sit out a season of football, are never the same. Remember, Mike Williams, who tried to enter the NFL draft after 2 seasons in college. He couldn’t and lost his NCAA eligibility and had to wait a year to play in the NFL. He was eventually drafted, but never had any success whatsoever. Maurice Clarett did the same thing, after being suspended from the Ohio State football team, with no success. He had to sit out a year and never had any success in the NFL, as well, after running a 4.72 40 and being drafted in the 3rd round. Crabtree could ruin his entire promising NFL career by sitting out this season and might not end up making any more money as a result because teams might not be willing to give 40 million dollars to someone who hasn’t played football in a year.

Crabtree needs to sign and shut up, realizing that he’s going to get paid a lot of money. He’ll probably get somewhere in between 18 and 20 million guaranteed money, just for signing his name. He might be set for life just for signing his name. And then on top of that, he’ll get another 3 million dollars per year and, if he’s as good as he believes he is, he’ll have every chance to make plenty of money in the future.